When You Suck At Moderation

Hello my name is Emily and I suck at moderation.

Come to think of it I have always been terrible at taking things in small doses, well except for that horrific cherry-flavoured antibiotic I had to consume for ear infections as a kid.

For example, come Easter I would probably have all my stash eaten within a day or two. My older sister was the opposite and would bring one out at Christmas! Such is her ability to self moderate.

At boarding school I used to always put my hand up for seconds of the chocolate mousse and would eat 6 pieces of cold white toast lathered in butter almost every morning just because I could.

During my years at university I wasn’t just content with one wine during $5 wine night at the Railway Hotel. I won’t get into details but suffice to say those usually weren’t late nights for me.

easter egg moderation

I could go on but I’m sure you’re starting to see where I’m going with this.

Yes, I suck at moderation. You probably know whether you suck at moderation too, if not here is a handy checklist….

7 signs you suck at moderation

1. At a buffet you aren’t content with only choosing your favourite foods. You have to try ALL THE FOOD, especially the things you haven’t had for ‘ages’.

2. When beverages are free-flowing at a social event you quickly consume the last of your drink the second you spy the waiter heading your way, because, refill.

3. You spend two weeks eating super healthy and exercising and then you fall off the wagon and can’t be arsed getting back on it again.

4. When pregnancy cravings arise you don’t fight them and consume an entire bag of candy floss every night for the last month of your pregnancy (true story).

5. You have never EVER uttered the words ‘no thanks I’m stuffed’ when someone has offered you a pastry (sweet or savory) during an event or night out.

6. At work when someone brings in cake or treats you ALWAYS have a second piece, despite getting looked at sideways by those slim people who excel at moderation.

7. If you have a special event or occasion coming up you workout like a ninja and eat like Elle Macpherson. Once you have shone like the fabulous star you are, you re-started your carb addiction and begin eating like Elvis during his darkest hours.

I’m sure there are plenty of benefits of being sucky at moderation, it’s just that I can’t think of any health ones right this minute.

Maybe you can shoot a few my way?

Tell me, got a sign to add in regards to sucking at moderation?
How is your willpower?


  1. Victoria says:

    Me too lol

  2. My weakness? Red Rock Deli chips. I’ll just have a handful turns into a whole large packet. It is SO hard to walk by them at the shops. SO HARD.


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