Fact: Not everyone is going to like you

After this mornings obligatory 40-year-old boob squish, I took myself off to the shops because next week my first baby turns 10!

Yes I’ve been failing fabulously at this parenting caper for nearly a decade. I can’t believe it. As it happened I managed to buy more things for myself than my child.

I blame the amazing shop assistant, at a place famous for selling jeans, who basically has my body shape. And that’s kind of rare. We bonded over muffin tops, chicken legs and our ample bosoms.

We agreed that once you get to a certain age you have to start loving your shape. Well either that or start going crazy at the gym to mold your body to how you want it to look.

Then we laughed/bemoaned the fact that in every group shot ever taken we look matronly with our big shoulders and boobs because they’re only ever taken from the hip up. And usually by people shorter than us.

If we had our way all cameras would be pointed below the hip at our svelte butt and legs. But alas no. Imagine the outcry from all my beloved soul sisters with svelte upper bodies. There’d be riots.

As it happened I ended up buying the fabulous v-neck top she was wearing and a pair of short shorts. But it wasn’t just new threads I’d walked out of the shop with.

It was a renewed sense of body confidence.

I’ve written before about how everyday I fake it in front of my children because I want them to love their bodies, no matter what. There is nothing more important than self-love.

Without self-love I firmly believe that you will never truly be happy. Once you accept who you are, portly belly and all, then life truly gets so much better.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still aware that it’s in my best interest to knock off eating as many pork dim sims as I do. It would also make me feel mentally and physically better if I was more active than I currently am.

These are all works in progress. But I’m not going to wait until I’m doing this to love who I am.

I’ve wasted years, nay DECADES waiting for certain things to be just right before choosing to be happy.

Similarly I’ve squandered many a happy moment because I’ve been too hung up on what other people think of me.

colour run

GREEN TROLL FACE: I volunteered to throw coloured chalk during the school colour run and looked like this afterwards at pick-up. Did I care what others thought of me? Nup. (much to my kids’ disgust)

The truth is I don’t like/love everyone in the world so why should everyone love or even like me? To think otherwise is incredibly arrogant and naive.

For example, I’ve been intentionally keeping some distance between myself and a few people because a. they don’t add value to my life b. they have no self-awareness c. they just aren’t someone I want in my life because we have different outlooks/priorities.

Sure we exchange pleasantries and that’s where it starts and finishes. Not a big deal, like I said we’re not meant to be besties with everyone.

But it’s funny how things work out. Last week I realised that someone I know is actually doing this exact thing to me. And you know what? I wasn’t upset in the slightest.

Why? Because why get my knickers in a knot if someone doesn’t think I’m a good fit for them. It’s their life. Who am I to push myself or force them to like or socialise with me?

I can’t tell you what a revelation it was. Oh sweet relief.

Years ago I would have got myself wound up and been devastated. But as I’ve aged my self-awareness has deepened and so has my emotional strength.

Not everyone is going to like you, and the sooner we come to terms with this, and I mean TRULY come to accept this, the sooner you will be truly happy*.

Well until you start your Uber Mum Duties and deliver three children to swimming, AFL, soccer, trampolining, guitar and netball – then you will be CRANKY!

But you will be cranky because you’re a taxi driver to your entitled offspring, not because you’re constantly worried about what other people think of you.

I should add that all bets are off when you are super tired, have PMS or are going through ‘the change’ because your emotions are hell-bent on destroying all sane thoughts at such times.

I believe some people are born not caring, others learn to stop worrying thanks to a colourful array of life experiences and then there are people like me.

Who are just fresh out of f*&ks to give.

Tell me, how is your body confidence tracking?

What about your ability to let water slide off your back?

 

Comments

  1. I love this and it resonates so much right now! All of it! x

  2. For the most part everything rolls off but from someone I know/ who knows me well is another matter.
    I accept my body, I’m not sure I always love it though and certainly don’t show it the love I should (couch potato, icecreamoholic). I never worry too much unless something doesn’t fit or I’m going out, then I wish I put more effort in.
    What you said is so true though.
    BTW I’m in the big boobs, wide shoulders, no butt, chicken leg group too. Clothes shopping is never my fave thing.

    • Well if someone who knows you treats you badly then you have every right to question why, there’s always a reason. Maybe they aren’t meant to be in your life at that moment. Or they are just having a bad day, we often hurt the ones we love the most. xx

  3. Catriona Jones says:

    Oh Em I love this! So very true my friend. I wonder if it comes with age too, these revelations? Too many other important things to worry about. I love… “The truth is I don’t like/love everyone in the world so why should everyone love or even like me? To think otherwise is incredibly arrogant and naive.” You’re brilliant! Love ya x

  4. I’m guilty of caring too much of what people think, but not so much the body image thing. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of modelling good body image until the Big Sister asked me if her free-dress outfit made her look fat! 😳
    Happy birthday to Maddie!
    A x

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