13 Funny Truths About Your Fitness Band

As I reached to grab a piece of fluff stuck under the door of the loo, my fitness band flashed in all its glory!

WELL DONE, it said (flashed) then it was followed by the numerals 10,000.

And how did I finally get to reach utopia that day?

I spent a penny, as my dear old (late) great aunt Margaret would say.

That’s the funny side of fitness bands and the measurement of steps. Certain brands are nice and others make you work for it. I’ve had both types.

Some are like, “oh sure, stirring a mixture of cupcakes totally counts as steps for the day”.

The tough and less responsive bands are like, “yes, I can see you’re cycling your butt off on sand dunes AND up hills, but soz, it doesn’t count because your wrist is unresponsive”.

You are nodding your head and smiling right now.

Or you’re looking confused or smirking.

A. Smirking – because you are the BOSS of your fitness band and you say jump and it says ‘how high?’.

B. Confused – because you’re not into wearing an ugly piece of rubber that lies to you?

Garmin vivosmart HR+ 1

But I disgress.

Yes, we’re talking fitness bands. Look, I’m not against them, I have 2 or 3, but only one works #chargersgotlost. #sillychargers.

All I’m saying is there are a few funny but truthful ‘things’ about fitness bands we all know….

Here is the honest truth about fitness bands:

  1. If you’re a ‘proper’ runner or exercise person, then you will (and quite rightly) think this post is rubbish because you use your band for good not evil.
  2. They are either too big more small.
  3. GAH – the apps are so hard to circumnavigate.
  4. The underside of the band tends to smell a little, well, (you know) after a few months. (weeks if you live in a hot climate).
  5. The information collected by the app can be used by third parties to target their marketing campaigns towards you, true story.
  6. If any else, fitness bands make great watches.
  7. After a few years you realise the ‘step’ counter is bollocks
  8. Some are smarter than you and I.
  9. Once you figure out steps are so easy, you realise ‘active minutes’ is now the holy grail.
  10. You really don’t want to take it off before a big night/day out because you’ll miss out of registering those steps/active minutes!
  11. You forgot you had a nice watch that you haven’t worn in years.
  12. They always die just when you’re about to start a one-in-a-lifetime marathon, bike ride, hike.
  13. Not all are created equal, and anyone with a band that EATS yours will either glance (in a not-so-subtle way) and either smirk or jealous.


Just to reach your elusive step goal some of us may have done some unusual things. Course you do. Don’t kid yourself.

I did it the first week I got mines years ago. I walked around our rectangle TV room table, avoiding random pieces of Lego on the floor, just to reach 10,000.

Little did I know I could have just stirred cupcakes for half an hour.

However, I can just imagine what some people have done to get those steps ups.

13 Funny Truths About Fitness Bands

Emily predicts how you reached your step goal:

  • Gone for a walk around the block (or each room or your house) at 8-9pm at night.
  • Moved your wrist/arm like a crazy (but determined) person for two hours.
  • You haven’t because you don’t give a shit anymore because #ACTIVEMINUTES #PEOPLE!
  • Sexy time *you legend. 
  • By running or walking a lot (okay you deserve it, groan).
  • Being amazing in the kitchen.
  • Searching through Lego for 30 minutes

So tell me all the things, why have or haven’t you got a fitness band?

What pushed you over your goal today?

What fitness band do you own?

Do you care more about active minutes than steps like me?


  1. Lol! Now I want one. Just strapping one on my wrist will instantly inspire me to be a more active person right?

  2. Haha I am a fitbit addict! I take some of the stats with a pinch of salt – like being told I’ve climbed 70 floors in a day when I probably just drove up them in my car or the weather was just doing strange things! BUT…I do see the active minutes as the holy grail. I like seeing 10,000 flash up but I have learned that there’s definitely something about quality vs quantity too. And also, you can’t fitbit your way out of a bad diet haha (unless you’re a nerd that actually adds up all your calorie intake on the app). If I’m charging mine, I am that dork that sits still the whole time because actually walking anywhere won’t count anyway. I also like to use the sleep tracker to legitimately whinge about how bad my sleep is!

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