15 perfect mum thoughts I had before motherhood

I was such a freaking perfect mum before I had kids, in fact I was the BEST MUM EVER!

You should have seen my halo; it was delicious, circular and unbreakable. My kids were ridiculously amazing and everyone adored them so much.

Then I had to go and actually become a mum and my ivory tower came crumbling down around me.


The other day I was writing about how perfect mums don’t exist and it got me thinking about all the preconceptions I had about motherhood.

There are SO many. In fact there are so many about relationships too, but that’s a story for another day!

Let’s just start with some of the ridiculous notions I had of parenting before I become a mum.

15 thoughts I had about motherhood before I become a mum:

  1. Surely it can’t be that hard to stop a baby from crying?
  2. I am never going to yell at my kids, we will have a reasonable discussion about things.
  3. I can’t wait to just do nothing but play with my baby all day.
  4. We will be the best of friends and will never argue.
  5. How hard can it be to get a tiny wee baby to sleep?
  6. My children will eat what I eat or they’ll starve.
  7. My life won’t change just because I’m a mum, my baby will just fit in around my lifestyle.
  8. I’ll be back at work within six months.
  9. There is no way my children will sleep in my bed.
  10. I won’t be a wife who nags their husband about how hard it is to be a mum 24/7.
  11. My kids will not eat McDonalds, no way, no how.
  12. TV is so bad for kids until they are 2, so I will ban them from watching it until then.
  13. I don’t care what everyone else does, we will only eat wholefoods.
  14. Not one swear word will escape my lips once I am a mum.
  15. I’ll get my figure back easily as long as I breastfed.

BONUS: There is no way I could love this child as much as I love my husband, parents or siblings.


I would not trade my lot for all the wine/tea/sleep/sanity in the world.

But it’s funny when you look back to the person you were before you were a mum and laugh at the things you worried about and the things you thought were important.

We mums need to cut ourselves some slack and realise that we are doing a fabulous job even if we’re not doing it how we think we ‘should’ be.

So I salute every single mumma out there who is no longer just responsible for their own life but that of a little person.


Have you done something now that you’re a mum that you vowed you’d never do?

Maybe you need to be kinder to you and realise that you are actually doing a freaking fabulous job as a mum!


  1. I remember saying to my Sister in Law and Mother in Law that I hoped I’d find motherhood so engaging that I wouldn’t need to return to work.
    Thank goodness for blogging hey? Turns out I’m still me even after having kids – still crave learning new things and tackling new challenges.
    I’m pretty sure we were anti-dummy until our crying baby girl convinced us otherwise! 😉

  2. We don’t need to beat ourselves or each other up about how you truly stuffed up as a parent ! !! Your adult children were keeping a daily log to trot out now and constantly remind you of everything they deemed was mean nasty stupid embarrassing and downright torture ! I should be arrested for putting them in matching shirts or that hideous haircut or god forbid not letting them go to an unsupervised party at an unknown address clear across Sydney at 14 !! Bad mum ! I must get myself a bronze plaque to celebrate !

  3. I was an anti-TV Mum before I was an actual Mum.
    My girlfriend (zero children at the time) and I (one child at the time) had a heated conversation once about toilet training. She told me that we as a society made children incontinent and at six week she would have her baby sitting on a potty and doing their business on it. Yep, I made zero typos there, six weeks! She was an expert and was not open to any discussion. I think in the end I hung up on her.
    Oh boy, do I enjoy bringing this argument up with her now she has had two kids of her own! She completely admits that she was out of her mind crazy!

  4. OH YES. Number 7.
    I never realised how much my life would revolve around nap times and grumpy baby times and feeding times! I even started having to change what I wore because some shit is just not practical and wardrobe malfunctions were just not an option – having a baby out in public can be dicey enough!
    Not to mention how tired you get! Suddenly hitting a club at 2am doesn’t sound so appealing (well not ALL the time – might blow out once or twice a year haha)!

  5. OMG yes I clearly remember saying to my boss at the time that I would be back to work in three months. LOLOLOLOL. I got made redundant anyway so it was a moot point but I remember having a three month old baby and going “WHAT WAS I THINKING?!”. I also said I would never use one of those toddler leashes. Until I had a runner. Another stupid thing I thought I knew *eyeroll*

  6. Your kids are the cutest. That is all, since I’m not a mum and am still living in a dreamworld.

  7. Oh my goodness!! Everything!!

  8. Haha! I love all of these! I was all about “how hard could it be??” and “How breezy will my life be when I just stay home and look after children”. Yeah, nah.
    My big one was “I’m never giving my children the iPad in restaurants…” Bahahaha!

  9. my littlest person is turning 18 next week… and my biggest is wandering around the US for a month while the middle is about the graduate university with a gaddamn science degree. HOW ON EARTH DID THAT HAPPEN? Weren’t they only just bashing on door while I was trying to have a quiet poo? I did all the wrong things and apparently they all still lived.

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