Why you should ask for help

I put out an SOS on Monday and the next day help arrived in the form of my marvellous mumma!

With chocolate bars and a tray of 15 strawberry punnets in hand (a score at just $5 for the lot) my babies were delighted to see their nanny.

They weren’t as excited as moi, an invisible elephant vanished from my shoulders as I watched her walk in the front door from my office window.

new mums should ask for help

Juggling a full-time work load with little ones is recipe for guilt and exhaustion.

Meals are often thrown together at the last-minute and iPads get a work out when they’re meant to be lying dormant in their hiding spot in my bedroom.

She’s just dropped the kids off to school and kindy and is on her way home. I miss her already, it’s so nice to have another adult to roll your eyes with when one of your children is sending you bonkers.

Not to mention beds are made, the dishes are done and washing is on the line.

I promise I don’t make her my slave, it’s just how she rolls, my mumma is a doer from way back, no resting on her laurels this one. Lucky me right?

Years back when I was drowning in children and work I was too proud or stupid to ask for help, but as I’ve aged I’ve matured. In fact I’m a bit like a nice bottle of wine, I’ve also become more full-bodied.

Point is, I’ve realised that you HAVE to ask for help because people around you don’t know if you need help, they are freaking mind readers and you shouldn’t expect them to be.

There’s no point in getting your knicks in a knot about how no one ever helps you if you haven’t actually reached out and asked.

Maybe you think it would be nice for people to offer, but remember they too have lives, and I hate to burst your bubble but they don’t spend every second of their lives thinking about you.

So this is just a reminder that you don’t have to suffer in silence, ask for help instead of expecting those who love you to be telepathic.

I know without having my mum around for the past two days I would have been a pent-up rocket of stress. Thanks mumma, you rock my world. xxx

How do you go with asking for help?

Jealous of my strawberry haul?

Got a doer of a mumma too?

Comments

  1. Yep, great message. I’m glad you put the call out. I bet your mumma barely thinks anything of it. In fact she probably feels good being needed AND you get a break AND don’t feel alone in the battle AND you get to breathe AND you get to catch up. Win, win. I try to reach out, but sometimes I reason why people are too busy to come and help me and so I end up lonely and still in the stink of the battle drowning. I have to stop that kinda talk and just say it how it is and it’s up to them how they organise their life and get to my place, if they want to help. And generally everyone is happy to help xxx

    • No you have to ask, let them say no or tell you they are too busy! Please don’t start to drown my lovely, your nearest and dearest would hate that to happen. If you wait for them to offer it might never happen my love, trust me xx

  2. Hi Em
    I dream of being that grandma that can rock in and get a big welcome greeting , do a few chores that can save the day and be part of a new generation . Sadly my sons are all too busy living their lives , travelling and playing and tell me they have no intention of having children if (!!??) they ever settle down ! I’m fit active healthy at 60 and ready to be that grandma !!
    So far I’ve had to adopt other young families to get my grandma type hugs but it’s not the same !!
    I think your mum is awesome and also very lucky to be wanted and needed !

  3. Annaleis Topham says:

    They love to be helpful too. Take it easy on yourself Em. One day it will be you helping your grandchildren in return xx

  4. I would have loved to have your Mum when mine were growing up. My own Mum lived 1500 kms away. I think that may have been her plan.

  5. I have more help every day than I could explain. I am totally ok with the fact I really can’t do it all in my own. I am grateful for your honesty my friend, for if it not for you and others like you being honest, the bar would simply be too high. Thank you xxx

  6. Hell yes! If my parents lived closer I’d be up in their grill and asking for help when needed. LOL. Like today, with my car being dead. Your mum rocks. I mean, anyone who can score 15 punnets of strawberries for FIVE BUCKS is doing something right x

  7. 100% jealous of your strawberry haul! But furious to discover everyone isn’t always thinking about me. WHY NOT, EM????

    Yes, asking for help is totally necessary to survive this gig. Also wine.

    xx

  8. It sounds like you have a wonderful mama! I have a track record of being awful at seeking help, but I am getting better as I grow older x

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