Why I’m a horrible hypocrite.

As I ran past a big pile of fresh dog poo, it hit me.

Not the poo, but the fact that for years and years I have posted anti-running memes on my blog and I was doing just that. Running.

In my defense I detest doing it, but nonetheless for the past week or so I have run for a reason that isn’t stopping my child from chucking a glass of pasta bake mix on the floor of the supermarket. Exercise.

Okay that’s a porky, what I’m actually doing is chasing my three children on their scooters as they head to school/kindy, the running part is incidental and only wearing granny-coloured Asics because thongs/jandals would break if I wore them.

It’s quite the sight actually, consider a drunk emu with wonky legs and a wobbly head that frequently trips over fresh air and gasps for breath, this is what I look like. Well except with the additional of 3 sports bra.

There’s not a hint of Lycra in sight, it always makes me get a hot bottom, yes even those dri-weave things! I have a cap, a loose-fitting top to hide the muffin top and like I say gray trainers with a hint of old-fart lavender.

Trendy I am not.

If you’re thinking of heading to the shredder/hole punch to start making colourful confetti to shower me in when I finish a marathon please don’t.

I don’t have any aspirations to run for pleasure, it’s purely a means to an end, a chore if you will, just like unloading the dishwasher and trying to hide vegetables in my meals so the kids get their 5 serves.

But it is a start I guess, and on the way back I either chase a 4-year-old on his scooter, carry his scooter while he cries all the way home or I cry all the way home.

There are however, three days a week when I get to venture home by myself using a mixture of walking and walking faster. I put on my headphones and repeat my one and only ‘training’ song three times and then I’m home.

Want to know what my one song is?

gwen stefani what you waiting for

Quite fitting don’t you think?

Anyway, once I’m home I jump in the swimming pool and smash out a 30-minute aqua-aerobics routine. Had you there didn’t I?

No I actually sit in the pool and try to catch my breath while my cat laughs at my beetroot-coloured face.

It’s about time I did something because for the longest time I’ve been so inactive, my Fitbit was even considering asking for a divorce! I can’t say I blame it, check this out!

Active minutes ftibit

And here’s my tally for the past week…


So there you have it, I am a horrible hypocrite and I’ll do my best not to post anymore anti-running posts on my FB or blog page.

Okay just one more, I couldn’t resist!


Done some running recently?

Got a Fitbit that wants to divorce?

Run past non-scooped dog poo recently?



  1. Good on you! I sold my Fitbit to my son because it was stressing me out.. When I didn’t do what I thought I should.. Weird. Now I just ensure I get outside most days & move my body by walking. I really really miss being able to jump in a pool after exercise though. Keep on keeping on lady!

  2. I’ve been doing pilates almost every day for 3 weeks and I’m fatter than I was before. This exercise bull is a rort!

  3. Haha – good on you for getting your granny runners on.
    Those minutes are doing you wonders.
    My son wanted one for Christmas (Garmin like a fitbit) and it’s a constant competition with him and I.
    I cannot do Feb fast the alcohol version so I’m doing Feb fast the fit version 5kms minimum a day.

  4. Good on you, that’s excellent. And just think of it as something that you will give you a nice endorphin release rather than worrying about burning calories. You’re getting your kids active too, which is great.

  5. sounds like you are doing ok to me em!
    a little everyday! yes probably good for kids to see one being active! not in active wear though incidental is what I do! I did go for a walk today though! … definitely no lycra around these parts!
    love m:)X

  6. Old fart lavender is my absolute favourite shade of purple. Good on you lovely! I only run when I’m being chased (or chasing an errant preschooler), but I have been walking lots – love my Fitbit!

  7. HAHAHAHAHA I want to see Emily in her active wear. Her active wear.

  8. Lol! Nope, not a runner here and I don’t own a FitBit either. I ran for the bus this afternoon and deeply regretted it 🙂

  9. I am so crap at sport and generally uncoordinated but I have started playing netball with some mums at school and actually love it. My relationship with running is similar to yours, hence goal keeper.

  10. Impressed. I’m definitely not a runner, unless something or someone is chasing me but I need to at least get back into walking or doing something…. as soon as someone turns down the bloody heat over here. Our third day over 40 degrees. Does melting count as exercise?

  11. I had to stop running at the end of 2014 because of an injury and I was so annoyed. Now, I have no motivation to get back in to it, especially while it’s hot. I really enjoyed it though so I must do something! I’ll maybe just walk to start with I think. Now that Tafe is all done and dusted I have no excuse not to try and get some exercise in!

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