Rescue remedy pastilles sales skyrocket – a news report.

GOLD Coast residents are being forced to source rescue remedy pastilles interstate following a bizarre incident over the weekend.

According to sources, a frazzled mother-of-three was at her wits’ end and allegedly drove to every single chemist in the Gold Coast and surrounds to stockpile the blackcurrant-flavoured pastilles.

The Swiss-made all-natural products claim to provide ‘natural stress relief’ and are advertised as non-habit forming.

One sales assistant vividly remembered the woman because she marched into the store with dishevelled hair and bought all 10 tins the store had and then asked if there were any out the back.

“She seemed pleasant enough, but two of her three children were play fighting with pretend swords and the other was complaining about how life wasn’t fair,” the assistant said.

“We spoke briefly and aside from the fact she had a large Hobbit-like nose, there was nothing particularly unusual about her – well aside from that fact she spent $70 on rescue remedy pastilles.”

rescue pastilles

A pharmacist from another chemist, who did not want to be named for his own safety, said he overheard the woman speaking to herself in the aisle while her children were arguing with each other about what they wanted for Christmas.

“For a second there I thought she was talking to me, but I distinctly heard her say to herself “calm down you’ve only got to get through a few more hours and then reinforcements will arrive”,” he said.

“I don’t blame her really, she’s been coming in here for years and quite frankly anyone who has 3 kids in 3.5 years is bound to have a diminished mental state, I’m surprised she’s not crazier than she is.”

A friend close to the slightly loopy woman said she wasn’t surprised by the buying spree, suggesting that a recent health scare was to blame for the bizarre behaviour and trend towards a more natural way to reduce her stress.

“She doesn’t want anyone to know but she’s actually having a green smoothie every day, cutting back her caffeine intake and started mindful eating.

“That means instead of just guzzling food for the sake of it, she’s thinking about whether she actually needs to inhale half a cake of chocolate and 3 packets of the kid’s chips,” the friend says.

“I am slightly concerned though because the directions say to chew one pastille as required and I saw a post on Facebook and she had about 20 in her hand.

“She’s never been very good at moderation, but I guess she’ll just have to learn the hard way.”

The pastilles have a warning on the back that says excess consumption may have a laxative effect.

(some parts of this may not actually be true – except the part about me being crazy – this is DEFINITEY true)

Comments

  1. You know how much I love these posts! Thanks for the laughs x

  2. Shared. Too good not to xx

  3. Replacement therapy at its finest.

  4. Em, I’m laughing so hard right now. Love this post xx

  5. and half way through I knew it was you!
    r u ok hun??? lol m:)X

  6. I love those things. Always amazing to come across a woman who doesn’t use them! I need to re-stock!

  7. Love it – just stay away from the Sydney stash of Rescue Pastilles – I have an addiction that’s bordering on the need for intervention xx

  8. Too funny. Bach rescue remedy is the one in my bag. Often found swigging it from a hip flask. x

  9. I saw you share that picture on the weekend and was quite excited by the prospect. No kids (or life really) but stress nonetheless. Am hoping they haven’t shipped Hervey Bay’s supplies to the Gold Coast as a back-up!

  10. I get ya. All day I have been salivating for sweeties…Don’t care the sort, just full of sugar, and had to rush across to the IGA for an onion. Yeh I know I could have done without it, and while I was there…yep got the bag full…hoovered now YUM.

  11. A friend just gave me a couple of these. We are going camping tomorrow and she came round to me stressed to the max, mainly because of my stress head hubby. I am going to buy a tin tomorrow to take with me. here’s to a cas(ual) as fook camping trip 🙂

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  1. […] worked and now I have Enya pumping out of my speakers in a bid to find my inner zen, forget Rescue Remedy Pastilles they’re long […]

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