I’m not a housewife I’m a hornbag.

A mother who hasn’t had a full night’s sleep in days because her son has been sick with croup and high temps.

An insomniac who worries for her school-aged child who constantly wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep.

A mum who works from home that feels guilty because she puts her 3.5-year-old on the iPad so she can work.

A woman who just decluttered and filled 12 garbage bags full of stuff, toys, clothes and ‘just in case’ items thanks to encouragement from her mum.

A daughter that loves having a laugh with her mum while wearing an apron she hasn’t seen in 7 years because that’s how long it has been since she cleaned out her bottom drawer!

use this

A wife that should encourage her husband to have a weekend away by himself but isn’t pushing too hard because she wants one too.

A lover that is too tired or on the computer at night-time.

A friend that encourages, listens and lends a hand even though she could do with a bit of help herself.

A sister that selfishly wants her sissies to live next door so she’d always have a best friend nearby.

A writer that rarely says no because she doesn’t want to let people down.

A writer that is putting off piecing together 10 WWI survivor stories because it’s just all too hard.

A woman who dislikes housework but loves a tidy house.

A person that wishes she could escape to the beach and have a swim in the ocean.

A blogger that needs to start an online course she is doing but can’t until her paid work is done.

A social media addict that can’t but help be a bit envious of all the fun shit everyone else is doing.

An ambitious person who wishes she could do more but deep down knows that people with older children get more time to follow their dreams.

A self-aware woman who tries hard to remember that when you have young kids the days are long but the years are short.

A person who is trying to stop eating all the food but really wants to smash back buckets of lightly fried halloumi.

* Gosh I just re-read this and it’s quite depressing isn’t really? I blame PMS… and the fact my mum has gone home and I miss having her bubbly self around!


What are you putting off at the moment?

Are you a housewife or a hornbag? actually I don’t want to know!!!


  1. A good mate whose writing resonates with me.

  2. You forgot grammar Nazi! Meanwhile I a hornbag too. Honk.

  3. I LOVE THIS Em!!!!!!!!!!!! Fantastic post. You are an absolute champ – even if you are just my virtual friend – at least I have briefly met you once, ha ha ha. I used to have that Apron, I wonder where it is, I used to love it, we are such horn bags!!! And do you even know how proud I am that you and your Mumsie decluttered that much stuff – SO PROUD!!! We are all going through the same shit, and we have all shoved an iPad/iPhone in front of the 3 year old for some sanity and peace and quiet!!!!! Now croup and high temps, you poor little pet, and your poor little boy!!!! Nothing worse than a sick child. Oh I see Mumabulous is also a horn bag – we all are!! totally. Can’t wait to see you in August.

  4. You forgot “fabulous at keeping it real.” Most of the time I am housewife with the occasional hornbag tendencies haha. Love your work. Maybe you just need a wife. Or a male Brazilian au pair. Or sleep.

  5. I’m putting off doing something about making money…. given that April’s bills will more than clean out my savings I really need to get my act into gear!


  6. Love this post. I love a clean house but detest housework. I feel like everything is on hold at the moment and the longer the living in limbo continues the more crazy things I’m saying yes to. Time to take stock.

  7. Em, you are ROCKING that apron! Wish I had toned arms like that!!

  8. You forgot “someone who is way too hard on herself and should give herself more of a break than she ever would or does.” Just keep on keeping on Ems. Life is hard, and can be tough, but go look at your babies when they’re asleep, that’s what it’s all about. (They can’t piss you off and make you forget what it’s all about when they’re asleep 😉 xoxox Love ya guts.

  9. Love this- so honest and real!

  10. Someone real, someone honest, someone giving her best! I’m reading “The Reality Slap” (again) by Russ Harris at the moment. He once asked a client if she’d heard of the ‘inner critic” – her response – “Yes, I’ve got an inner committee” !!! 🙂 Xx

  11. You’re more than the sum of your parts 🙂 Lovely parts though they are;)

  12. I thought I was a bloody good housewife until I recieved a text from the husband whilst I was at a school strategy meeting last night. It read, “geez the house is dusty”.
    Regarding the hornbag! We have 3 young kids. Ain’t nothing horny about that 🙂 xxx

  13. SO many of those points are relatable Em – love your honesty. I often look at mums with older kids and think how much easier it will be. But then again, everyone has their own issues to deal with. All those fancy smancy pics on social media look like people are leading wonderful lives but I have to keep telling myself I don’t know what’s behind the pretty picture. That happy, smiling, impeccably dressed toddler may have had a massive tantrum right after the photo was taken. That flatlay of divine homewares or accessories may have taken 1 hour to set up and edit (whilst a child was on the iPad in the background or completely wrecking another room in the house). This is one tough gig. It challenges me daily. I have good days and bad days. Wishing you more of the good days xx

  14. I need that apron! I miss my Mum too xxx

  15. A woman torn between playing with her kids all day and getting her Tafe assignments done. That’s me today.

  16. An awesome woman who I absolutely adore! xx

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