On knowing when someone is a good egg!

Do you know how you can tell that someone is a good egg?

They only look for the positives in you.

A few months ago Mr HALOM and I escaped for one of our overnight stays away from our children.

We do this about four times a year to ensure we don’t get divorced. Seriously.

Life is so busy and stressful and usually the person we get cranky at the most is the one we love the most.

So in order to remember all the good things about each other we go away for a night, usually taking in a show, a movie or a few cocktails in the pool.

IMG_3796

This particular occasion I had forgotten my swimmers and instead of driving back home I bought a new pair, guided by the sales assistant, to reduce the appearance of my girth.

Upon arrival at our hotel we made ourselves a nice beverage, donned our swimmers and enjoyed the silence and lack of questions, demands, fighting and tears!

Before heading down to the pool bar to order cocktails I caught sight of myself in the mirror.

Despite my best efforts to find a slimming one piece I still felt like a pork chop.

I turned to the person I adore and asked him if he noticed how big my stomach and arms had got recently.

And he said not really because: “I don’t look for the negatives in you dear”.

SWOON.

Sure it could be argued that buttering me up with compliments might be to his advantage later in the evening.

But Mr HALOM doesn’t mince his words. In fact it’s hard to get a sentence out of him at the best of times. By nature he is a man of few words.

The upside of this is that when he does speak it’s not bullshit. This can be a good and a bad thing.

Anyway I digress. After patting myself on the back for marrying the best husband ever, I kicked myself in the butt and thought long and hard about what he said.

He doesn’t look for negatives in me so why am I hellbent on pointing them out to him and everyone I meet?

Why on earth do we find it so hard to take a compliment or apologise for our unruly eyebrows or spotty face before a person sees it?

Most of the time no one notices that massive volcano under your nose unless you point it out to them!

It’s time to kick that crap to the curb and embrace ourselves, jelly bellies and all.

Do you apologise in advance if you’re feeling self-conscious about something?

Is your other half a have-a-chat or in a constant state of verbal drought?

Comments

  1. Guilty. I’m often apologising for my appearance. Especially this last year where it looks like I’ve been living at an all you can eat buffet having gain far too many kilos thanks to meds and a dodgy thyroid. I’m also paranoid about the tremors in my hands and worry that people will think I have the shakes because I’m an alcoholic when the realty is I’m probably the only person that notices.

  2. I try not to tell people my negative’s these days!
    let them work it out for themselves! … be mysterious!
    sig other and I have keep our rose coloured glasses on for each other!
    hopefully older and wiser!
    having said that I blurt out a lot of tripe on these blogs!;0
    lol m:)X

  3. Yes, I’m trying not to point out the negatives although they are many, and if someone gives me a compliment I try to accept it with aplomb rather than trying to laugh it off or rebuff with some heart self deprecation. It’s funny isn’t it, because I would never dream of talking down another person, but I’ll happily do it to myself! Go figure!

  4. I never get sick of seeing your smiling face poolside with that yummy cocktail (is it a Cosmo?). I love that you get away for some child free time. We don’t get to do it as much as I would like but last year we did have that one lovely night at the Stamford in Brisbane – best time ever, and we realised we do still love each other…hmmm who’d have thought.. ha ha ha. Oh and they don’t notice our bellies or fat arses like we do because they are too busy looking at our boobs! ha ha ha. Aren’t we lucky that they love us even with our baby “verandah’s” and flabby thighs. xx

  5. What a sweetheart! A quality I would like to adopt more too. I do celebrate peoples positives but it does make me feel a bit better by picking at their shitty, annoying habits too. Verbalising them to my hubby or girlfriends is even better in my mind but I think it points out the degree of my awful-ness right there.
    I think it’s great you head off for weekends so regularly. Eventually we will need to adopt this too I think. For the sake of not getting divorced 😉

  6. He sure is a good egg Em. I am so bad at pointing out my own negatives and always apologising for them. EXCELLENT way to view the world from your Mr. Thanks xx

  7. Yes, exactly! I used to rebut every compliment I ever received until a very good friend actually said, “just say thank you. Learn to accept a compliment”. And believe it or not I have a draft post on this exact topic!

    And yay for the two of you having your getaways, we do our gig thing with the occasional interstate one and it’s OUR time, we don’t even ever invite friends to come along!

  8. So true, if we treated ourselves as kindly as we should I think we would al be a lot happier.

  9. My husband doesn’t see the faults I’m constantly finding in myself. The only thing he sees as negative about me is my inability to take a compliment. Your MR HALOM is indeed a good egg. I think you should keep him 🙂

  10. Yup, I do the same thing. I think I’m like the anti sales person of myself. It’s ridiculous. Someone says something and I say, ‘Yes, but..’ and the ‘yes’ is a bit of a breakthrough. I wonder if we can ever drop the ‘but’. I double dare you xxx

  11. So much good in this post, Em. Your Mr sounds like a really good egg, but then that makes two of you.
    I’m the worst compliment acceptor, but it’s something that I’m trying to work on as I get older (not necessarily wiser, though). x

  12. Ahh so true! Yep I’m guilty of pointing out my faults to people for some stupid reason! You’re right, no one actually cares anyway.

    I love that you have that getaway – awesome idea. I’m going to steal it! x

  13. Interestingly, these breaks are a good couple therapy!

  14. So happy that you’ve got a good egg Em – I have one too but he is a talker! It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the lives of our little ones. When we are both exhausted, overwhelmed and cranky it’s not good for “us” so we try to have regular date nights. If the kids can have a sleepover at the folks house then we get a bonus sleep-in. Might have to try to work in a night or weekend away. Any excuse for a cocktail in a pool!

  15. You do indeed have a excellent taste in husbands – well done!

    I think this is such an important thing to remember. I had a eureka moment a while ago when a friend was having a moan about her flaws over brunch. I could honestly say that I’d never noticed any of them, which made me realise that probably people don’t really notice mine (and if they do – are they people I want to know?!) It’s the kind of lesson you have to remind yourself of every once in a while, but it’s worthwhile doing so!

  16. Awww, he is a keeper that one!! I am always apologising for things I am self conscious about or I make jokes about it. I can’t help myself. My hubby isn’t much of a talker. He is the silent type x And go you two with your weekends away! Thats something me and hubby need to do more of.

  17. Great post Emily- it’s so true. I do the same so often- my husband says I look good and my response is “What about my bum, it’s huge!” so I’ve made a conscious choice to just shut up. If he doesn’t see it, why make him? And if he sees a beautiful woman, maybe I’m focussing on the wrong things!

  18. He’s definitely a keeper! My hubby says the same kind of thing. When I’m all ‘oh my nose, my teeth, my xyz’ he always says he just sees me.
    I think we are often far to critical of ourselves, but it’s hard to break the habit.

  19. You definitely have a good egg in your husband! And also a wise egg! The older I get the more I realise that other people aren’t looking for flaws and negatives in me when they see me or talk to me, most of the time other people are too worried thinking about themselves and their own perceived flaws and worries!

  20. All so true. I’m starting to realise now what my mum meant when she said “Nobody is worried about your bad bits, we’re all too busy worrying about own.”

    Trying to impart this wisdom on my own kids now – hope it clicks for them earlier than it did for me!

    *organises date night*

  21. Nice and true…and it’s also nice that you can identify the good uns, and then spot them coming 🙂 x

  22. Your Mr HALOM is a keeper Em! I am so guilty of pointing out my flaws and apologising for them. “Oh this old thing – it was all I could fit into. I’m so fat!” (an example) It’s so stupid. I don’t judge others by how they look yet I think others are judging me. I’m trying my best and I should be happy with that. x

  23. What a lovely (and wise) thing to say. That was most definitely a trick question! We magnify these things (in our head) and then draw people’s attention to it (which is nuts really!)

  24. Oh Em, this is SO me. I do this all the time and my hubby is always telling me how beautiful he thinks I am. We have some good eggs Em, we really do xx

  25. A good egg indeed – especially those moments that make you swoon! I guess we pull up our faults to assure others we are aware of it? I dunno! It’s way easier than complimenting yourself to others like – “Damn! I am loving my ass in these jeans!! Aren’t you too!? Wows I look so hot!” Yeah nah, never gonna say that, haha!

  26. I never, ever point out my flaws to my man. As far as he’s concerned, he’s married to a goddess and I’ve got no intention of disappointing him. And guess what – Mr HALOM really, truly is married to a goddess. x

Speak Your Mind

*