The Elf on the Shelf arrives & other Christmas porkies – Laugh Link

Hello and welcome to 101.1 Keeping it Real FM.

If you’ve just tuned in then just a reminder that this show does not offer any cooking, crafting, cleaning or fashion advice.

You’ll be served a large dose of reality, a side of cynicism and a scoop of sarcasm.

Today we’re talking about what a shit fight it is to decorate and put up a tree Christmas with children.

Kids fighting over tinsel, purposely breaking baubles, and toddlers eating decorative candy canes that are nearly 10-years-old; it’s not a pretty time of the year.

Our first caller is Emily, who has two preschooler sons and a feisty six-year-old.

Good morning Em so tell us, how did your Christmas tree decorating go?

It was a bloody shit fight actually Howard but it always is.

Why what happened?

Well my oldest got cranky because her younger brothers weren’t doing it the way she wanted them to do it.

Oh dear that doesn’t sound like much fun. Tell me I hear that you’re pretty particular about your tree, how did you go letting the kids decorate it?

Well it was hard but I’ve finally learned to just let it go. Oh and I also hid or threw away any ugly decorations so they couldn’t put them up!

The Elf on the Shelf & other Christmas porkies - Laugh Link

Sounds like a fabulous idea Em. So tell me, are you one of those over-the-top annoying parents who has an Elf on the Shelf?

…silence….audible gasp….

Who are you calling over-the-top Howard? Just because I want to encourage my children’s imagination that doesn’t mean that I’m annoying!

Sorry I….

Do you have kids Howard?

Erm, no.

Well why don’t you just shut your cake hole because if you did you would realise that an Elf on the (beep) Shelf is one of the best ways to make kids behave at this time of the year!

Okay settle petal – please tell me why this Elf idea is so fantastic?

Well the kids know that the Elf is Santa’s spy and that he sees and hears all behaviour and reports back to the jolly fellow.

Sounds a bit like an elaborate lie to me, doesn’t it get hard to keep up the facade?

You would think so wouldn’t you Howard – but not if you have a brain.

Alrighty then,ย thanks for your time Emily and all the best for trying to manipulate your children for the next 24 days!

beep beep beep beep beep beep

The Elf on the Shelf & other Christmas porkies - Laugh Link

Do you go a bit loopy at Christmas?

Are you able to let the kids decorate the tree and not care how it looks?

Does the Elf on a Shelf visit you? If so tell me your greatest spots?


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  1. I wish the elf on a shelf was around when my kids were little, not so that I could manipulate them but so I could have a lot of fun with it.

    I’m normally rather anal when it comes to putting up our tree but for the last two years I’ve been banned from helping or coming in afterwards for a tree deco do-over. I’m half tempted to put the tree up while everyone is at school tomorrow. Our usual tradition is Dec 1st right after dinner.

  2. I’m not up with the ‘elf on the shelf’ – must be a new thing? My kids used to love decorating the Xmas tree and I just let them do it however they wanted and tried my best to avert my perfectionistic nature! Ok ok … maybe I fixed a few things up later ๐Ÿ˜‰ These days none of the buggars will put the tree up and it’s me that has to do it. Where is their Xmas spirit? Today is the day. I shall see if I can get any of them to help me. I’ll pop a bit of Bing on and see how we go! ๐Ÿ™‚ xo

  3. I actually don’t understand (AT ALL) the people who *have* to have their tree set up this or that way. Um…boring! Why not set it up differently every year? Why not change it when things get knocked off or eaten? It’s for everyone. Same goes for Gingerbread house decorating – “make fake snow” …eh…why not do a Gingerbread hack and turn it into an obstacle course or spaceship or something?

  4. Haha! No Elf here…yet. I’m thinking about whether or not I could be bothered!

  5. Decorating with kids is a shit fight isn’t it Emily and when I was preggas I thought it would be so romantic. First time my eldest was old enough he stuck on one bauble said “Dat’s nuff” and wandered off! This year mine at nearly 11 and 16 are leaving me at Xmas to fly with their dad for a Sydney Chrissy – this is a relief in one way (so much less fuss) but a little sad too. x Have never used an elf on the shelf – damn that’s a good idea!

  6. I read about these elves on shelves and they sound fabulous. But I’m so exhausted I don’t think I could muster up the creative stamina required to explain it to my 4yo who questions absolutely everything these days. I’m having enough trouble maintaining the Santa charade, never mind adding elves to the mix!

  7. I remember when the Elf burst onto the scene a few years ago. One of my friends here has one and her 3yr old just loves it!

  8. I’m 43, do you think I’m too old for an Elf on a Shelf? We didn’t have them in the G.O. D (Good Old Days) and I do so hate to miss out!

  9. NO NO NO tell me you did NOT let your tree into the hands of the kids!? Didn’t you buy a separate tree for them!?!? Don’t give up on me now, Em, you’ve made it so far!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  10. I wrote about my Christmas OCD – haven’t done elf on the shelf but Santa is watching – always watching (Ros’ voice from Monsters Inc) – yes, I daresay the season has sent me a bit loopy.

  11. Hahahaha! Do you know how many stores I went to last year just so I can find an elf? All the stores that had Christmas decors on! So hard to find over here! I got so tired that all I did when I got home was plop him next to the tree. He became a toy right after and how has a broken leg. LOL

  12. NOOOOOO! Emily! You caved to the Elf!! hahaha We don’t have our Christmas tree up yet or a funny looking elf to take pictures of. Maybe the hubby can dress up and scare the kids…will that do?

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