Why we should be careful what we say to our kids

As parents we are privileged to have the complete trust of our children – when they are unsure or scared they look to us to comfort them.

We have such an important role because kids believe every word we say, well until they’re six and then they know EVERYTHING.

They trust us, they believe in us, and we have to remember this every time we speak to them.

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Today our boy heads back to hospital tomorrow for a short, but not sweet, procedure. He was supposed to have it 10 days ago but it was cancelled because the surgeon was sick.

I’ve reassured him that we won’t be staying the night, that it won’t be painful like last time and that I’ll be there as soon as he wakes up.

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I will still cry as I watch his little body go limp after they administer the anaesthetic – but until his eyes flutter shut I’ll be strong, I will kiss him, reassure him and tell him it’s going to be okay.

And you know what, he will believe every single word of it because he trusts me unconditionally. We hold such a position of power over our children and it is something we should never take advantage of or use in a way that could potentially hurt them.

So from 7am we’re nil by mouth, hopefully it’ll be the start of my ‘stop eating like a horse’ phase! Wish us luck.

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So please remember to choose your words carefully today, they could have a profound impact on a little person.

What have you said to your child and then quickly regretted?

Flogging with Grace @ With Some Grace

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And rewinding with Bron and Sonia for Weekend Rewind

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Comments

  1. Good luck Em – sure it will be fine. X

  2. It’s never easy watching on helplessly. Those uncertain eyes looking to you for reassurance. I’ll be thinking of you both, Em. Sending love and best wishes. X

  3. We always hope for the best and never for the worst for our kids. I think the words I’ve regretted are ones said in anger and I’ve apologised afterwards and it’s amazing how my Esther is so quick to forgive and she says sorry when she has acted badly too. I hope the surgery goes well. You are your little boys tower of strength so you need to reassure him even if you can’t control the circumstances. Thinking of you both over the weekend. Xo

  4. Ahh bless him, I hope it all goes well Emily xox

  5. All the best for today, Em. You are such an amazing, strong and inspirational mother to your children. Please make sure you look after yourself too though. I know you must be emotionally exhausted. Much love xx

  6. I hope all goes well with the little mans operation Em. Thinking of you. Sending you a big hug.
    Xxxxxxxx

  7. All the best Em and some great words of advice there xx

  8. Never easy! Wishing your little man a speedy recovery. Such important and beautiful words and advice Em xx

  9. It’s horrible watching them go under anesthetic. I almost fainted once. The nurses had to get me a chair. He’ll be fine with a loving mum like you 🙂

  10. A beautiful reminder, Em. Keeping you and your little guy in my thoughts today. You are a strong woman and your strength will give him strength. xxxx

  11. Good luck sweetie. Big hugs.

    (Oh, and what have I said and regretted? Probably the shouty version of my daughter’s name [you know the one – the one with extra syllables] when she’s made a big noise, only to see that she’s crying because she fell and hurt herself.)

  12. Michelle H says:

    Wishing you and your little man all the best for today xx

  13. Good luck for the surgery, thinking of you and your family, be strong x

  14. Will be thinking of you guys and Mr H. Sending lots of love. My patience has been short lately. I’m going to make a concerted effort to be present in every moment with Nick this weekend while we’re away. I have no internet on my phone still, so that will help!! xo

  15. Praying for your little boy Em x
    Stay strong yourself!

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  16. That is so true Em! Hope everything goes really well with the surgery!

    We had a recent example of kids believing what they are told. We have my step kids for the holidays this week and we booked them into a sports day holiday program. Their mum told them it would be full of misbehaving, immature kids and Mr 12 believed her and was so reluctant to go 🙁
    Fortunately we manage to convince him it would be great, and he went and give it 5/5!
    We need to be so careful what we say to our kids, our do our best to combat all the negative, stupid things they hear!

  17. Best wishes to you and your little man today.

  18. Best wishes to you and your little man! May he have a speedy recovery!

  19. Soooo true. Love that quote about taste your words first…. they are so impressionable mini humans. We hold their little self esteems in our hands.

    Hope you can be strong together xx

  20. Even as an adult there are things that I think, and then wonder why it is I think them, or believe them, and then I realise it’s because of something my Mum or Dad said to me years and years ago when I was small. What we say to our kids won’t just last a small time, it will last a lifetime, till some event or other thing triggers the memory they’ve been stashed away in.

  21. This post couldn’t be more timely, Em. We’ve had a bit of a roller coaster week where it really was made clear to us that children are a lot more sensitive than what we realise.
    Sending lots of healing hugs for your little man x

  22. Such true words Em and thanks for the reminder. Sending big hugs to you and your little guy today. xxx

  23. It’s never easy being a mum of a child that has heath concerns is it. Hope it all goes well and you can all spend tomorrow catching up on the food you didn’t have today (or is that just my kids!)

  24. Best wishes for your little man, I hope all goes well and you both stay strong.

  25. I hope everything went well today Em. I will keep praying and thinking of you and your little one xx

  26. As a teacher (and now working with teenagers) I think parents totally underestimate the power their words have on their children!! There’s a ‘teacher’ saying I love ‘they may not remember what you taught them but they’ll remember how you made them feel’…
    Hope today went well, I know it was looong for you!
    Best wishes

  27. I’m hoping by the time you read this Em, it will be all done and your little man will be well on the way to recovery. Hugs to you both xx

  28. Hope everything went well today Em. All the best for a quick recovery for your little man.

  29. Horrible having little people going through this stuff. Don’t you just wish you could do it for them. Good luck x

  30. I hope it all went well Em. It’s so hard watching our little ones endure these things.

  31. That moment when they lay there limp after going under is heart wrenching isn’t it, I cried like a baby too xx
    You know what I can’t remember what it was I said, but I have said things I regret. I block them out I guess. Terrible feeling :/ I am so fortunate to be a mum and loved so.

  32. Oh huni I am going to give you two massive big hugs tomorrow – one for you and one to take home with you for that precious little dude from me. Hope all has gone well and he is doing aok XX

  33. This is so true. I usually only think about the power of our words from the perspective of no swearing and using please and thank you but then this post opened my eyes again…and made me tear up – they trust us unconditionally to keep them safe from the world. Beautiful reminder, Emily, thank you.

  34. I regret saying something every day. My temper is so short right now, and it’s not ok.
    Sometimes I need a good slapping.

  35. I don’t have kids but still remember many years ago (when I was doing WW back then) and being away with my bro, SIL, niece and my parents. Mum and I had been talking about WW etc when suddenly my tiny little 6yr neice holds up a biscuit… “How many points in this Aunty Deb?” and I was horrified!

    I was far more careful with my ‘diet’ talk after that.

  36. I’ve been catching up on your recent posts and am glad to see that you guys have come through the other side well and ok. But I wanted to leave a comment here because those words really struck me about the tremendous weight our words carry in our children. Every single little thing we say matters. The other day Nathan started asking me about Santa Claus and I wasn’t really prepared what to say… and whatever I say, he will believe. I hold the power to make him real or make-believe.

  37. I hope that everything went well for you.
    We are very careful what we say around our girls because Miss 4 is very inquisitive and mature and questions everything. We even had to stop watching the news all together because she was far too involved and being exposed to things she really didn’t need to see.

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