Cranky Mum Slams Slime YouTubers – A News Report

A woman has lashed out at reputable YouTubers after she failed miserably to make slime with her daughter this weekend.

She made a record 10 attempts to create the slimy, gooey stuff but each time the slime did not resemble the YouTuber’s finished product in the slightest.

As such the outspoken and desperate housewife has lashed out at the makers of online tutorials, labeling then misleading and deceitful.

“It’s a conspiracy! There is something they are not showing us. I mean their slime is perfect yet we are only shown snippets of their handiwork,” she says.

Such was her determination to get it right, she asked her husband to buy a 1 litre container of PVA glue from the hardware store. He did so after consuming 2 sausages.

Upon his return the mother of three set about following the instructions to the ‘letter’ but still failed to achieve the right consistency.

“Well that’s about two hours of my life that I’ll never get back,” she says.

“I just don’t get it. The girl with pink hair and an annoying voice assured me that slime was EASY to make.

“We paused the YouTube video dozens of times to ensure we did all that she said. Once we failed to make normal slime we thought we’d try ‘fluffy slime’.”

how to make slime

It appears the Gold Coaster got a little obsessed with perfecting the art of slime because she left her house numerous times to buy essential ingredients.

These include shaving cream, corn starch, Borax and foaming hand soap.

Of course, like most trips to the supermarket for only a few items, she returned with 36 things and spent $92.

“I suppose I continued because my daughter and her friend were so passionate about slime,” she says.

“Anyone that knows me is aware that I do not craft. I see it as the work of the devil. And glitter? I can’t even say the word without getting a shiver down my spine.

“My failure to get the right consistency with the slime proves my point even more.”

The woman admitted each time they attempted to make slime they changed their approach. It’s understood she might have got a little cranky in the process.

“We tried kneading it, adding Borax slowly, using my good facial moisturiser, which the YouTuber assured us would make it more stretchy,” she says.

“But time after time we failed. It was all I could do not to crack open a wine. However, I refrained as it’s considered not wise to drink in front of kids, especially at 10am in the morning.

“Never again shall I endeavour to do craft. Not being able to make perfect slime is soul-destroying.”

The craft-hater was so desperate she texted a school mum friend, who also happens to be a teacher, to get the EXACT YouTube video she used with resounding success.

Not surprisingly the woman still managed to stuff it up.

“I told my daughter that I was no school teacher, therefore not super human or amazingly organised. Of course a school teacher would get it right first time,” she says.

“I still can’t believe we used nearly an entire litre of PVC glue trying to make slime. And don’t even get me start on the colours I was asked to make with food colouring.

“4 drops of blue and 2 red for purple, or was it 4 drops red and 2 drops blue. GAH.”

The news wasn’t all bad, with the final attempt resulting in a reasonable fluffy slime. Although it’s not as stretchy as the woman would have liked it.

This publication intended to show an example of the slime, that the woman’s daughter decided to keep in a container and play with.

However, the mother has searched high and low and has just realised her child as taken the slime TO SCHOOL!

Which is totally not allowed and she is very cranky about.

ENDS

Got a fail proof recipe for slime?

What is the KEY to slime success?

Comments

  1. I’m having a horrific thought about that slime leaking into her school bag – it’ll likely smell better than rotten bananas I find in the bottom of my kids’ school bags but I suspect the PVA will make it harder to clean up!

  2. I’m just packing up the house to move for the 24th bloody time and have found several gone wrong slime experiments all over the house. Happy to box them all up and send your way. I also found an old school backpack with a full lunch box. Not even game to open it. Putting the whole lot in the skip bin.

  3. Good on you for even attempting it. I’m terrified my girls will ask me to make some one day.

  4. LOL – I can 100% relate to this. I’ve banned any kind of slime making forever. The kids hate me.

  5. I was so close to making slime with the kids last school holidays. This timely news report has confirmed what I had suspected all along: DON’T BOTHER.

  6. Yeah, well Boo was obsessed with the dudes from Epic Meal Time.
    I told him I would buy him a tshirt instead. It says ‘bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips’ and is WAY better than the heart attack we all would have had trying to make (and ingest) the food from their videos.

    Damn Youtubers.

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