Every Day I Fake Body Confidence For My Kids

As I stood on my stand up paddle board in swimmers I smiled outwardly to my three children who were looking on, but inside I was cringing.

You see every day I fake body love and confidence for my kids, especially in public.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my body, it’s a tough nut that’s carried and birthed 3 children in 3.5 years.

But I certainly don’t feel proud of it right now. To be honest I’m not sure I ever did.

Sadly, not even when I looked like a Bond girl in my bikini during my honeymoon was I confessing love to my toned and fit body. It’s just not how I roll. Rightly or wrongly.

However, it’s my mission to never let my children know that it makes me cringe when they grab my thighs and stomach and affectionately call me their ‘chubby mummy’.

When we go swimming and I get out of the pool I don’t quickly rush to get a towel to cover myself up. Sure I might suck in my gut a bit as I see my reflection in the glass pool fence, but I let them see all of me.

Same goes for when I have to do a nude run through the house to get some item of clothing out of the washing basket.

On these occasions I waddle past them in my knickers, sometimes bra on, sometimes not. I don’t make fun of myself or hide anything.

Just recently, despite feeling very conscious during our beach camping trip, I waddled to and from the beach without a towel to hide my bumps and lumps.

As svelte women in thong bikinis walked alongside me into the ocean I didn’t cringe, I smiled at my children beckoning me into the water.

I never say horrible things about my body in front of my children.

Don’t get me wrong, I do tell them I need to get fitter and eat healthier food but I never talk about dieting.

I will not utter the world ‘fat’ except in regards to cooking and I won’t discuss putting on or losing weight in front of my kids.

faking body confidence

I’m getting better in regards to body love and I do feel that as I age I’m starting to accept my body a little bit.

Or maybe I just don’t worry about the small stuff as much as I used to. That’s one of the best things about getting older. Less shits to give about a whole lot of things!

And maybe by faking it with my kids one day I’ll actually wholly embrace my body as it is.

It’s my aim to show my children that all bodies are beautiful no matter what.

For the last thing I want for them is to place any weight on the importance of someone’s body shape or size.

Sure it’s not easy with all the headlines about weight and highly stylised images we are bombarded with in trashy magazines and television.

But if I can teach them to have body confidence no matter what, then I will be a happy mumma.

Do you fake it in front of your kids?

Do you don swimmers and own it even though you know you’re not in the best shape?

Comments

  1. Yes & Yes. With 3 boys I don’t need to teach them to body shame women. I use words like healthy choices, being fit and active, strong instead of the “f” word-fat. I do more than I say. (family bike rides, being outside together at the beach or pool, taking them to my training sessions x2 a week. We also talk about people’s bodies being different shapes and sizes and that is why we are special. I have a pot belly I struggle to get rid of, but that means I have to drink kale smoothies instead of cake. Never going to happen. I accept my limitations. Good on you Em for getting out there.

  2. Quite frankly I think you look fantastic on that paddle board. You look strong and relaxed so if you’re faking that, well done you. I have always struggled with my weight but I’m the same – I want my kids to know that fit and strong and healthy trumps any kind of number or image. They come to the gym with me twice a week and see me work hard and I love that. I’m pregnant with baby #4 and still working hard! I don’t exactly look like I work out but I feel strong and that’s what counts. I still can’t quite let go of my boardies but I’ll get there some day.
    Go you!!!

  3. You look fantastic on that paddle board and I love your attitude too. I try to not talk negatively about my body in front of my two girls and focus on conversations about being fit and healthy instead. Great post.

  4. Your amazing Em and you look fantastic. I wish I could fake body confidence. xx

  5. Yep – definitely fake it in front of my kids. It’s something my mum taught me, As an adult, I release that she didn’t love her body every minute of every day, but she NEVER made a disparaging remark about it around my sister and i when we were little. I think it made a huge difference to our body confidence.

  6. Go Em – the paddleboarding is the best example you can set – have fun, get fit, feel free. Now we just need to work on our inner bitches. X

  7. I am a faker too! As the mother of 3 girls of all shapes and sizes I want them to know there is so much, SO MUCH more to a person than their body shape. I always say think about what your body can do rather than what it looks like.

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