Sometimes you don’t know you are suffocating until it’s too late.

It’s been a full week since I have typed on a keyboard, oh my goodness it’s soooooooooo nice to have a break from your everyday life isn’t it?

Sometimes you don’t know you are suffocating until it’s too late.

I’ve just made the kid’s school lunches and for the first time EVER I wasn’t moaning because I couldn’t find the right lid for the container I keep my daughter’s green beans in.

I was almost smiling as I rifled through the Tupperware drawer! Who the heck am I?

Today I have put up the Christmas tree in perfect harmony with my three children, I’ve spent time playing bingo, doing puzzles and have also had time to sit down and listen as my 4-year-old talked about the most important thing in the world to him.

For the first time since being a mum nearly 8-years-ago I have had a break.

My heart and my soul is full.

happy bali

I had no idea how much I was worn down by my every day life until I had 5 days without it.

I can’t explain it but it’s as though there is no weight upon my shoulders, as I sit here typing I have a spring in my fingers, I feel grateful.

As the plane took off en route to our home I shed a secret tear, sadness at leaving but grateful that I was close to seeing my children again and hoping that our flight home was safe.

It sounds silly but we’re living in a world so different to the one that I grew up in, you can’t take safety and happiness for granted. Never.

The cuddles that enveloped us as we arrived were magical, they reminded me of why I valued my existence so much. They are the reason I live, to give them the happiest life I can.

potato head bali

So as I write this it’s been 36 hours since we’ve been home and I have not got cranky once. I have got down on one knee and listened to my baby as he spoke about things that mattered to him.

I’ve listened as my daughter spoke about how she is sad because her best friend doesn’t like her as much as she likes her. My heart ached having to tell her that sometimes certain people feel feelings more than others and that that’s okay.

Then I gave my son a big hug for no reason. Just because.

My heart and shoulders are light, they are carefree. Gosh I needed to get away. Do you know what I mean?

It’s so hard trying to find the balance in life, but often getting away from those that you can’t bear to be parted from is exactly what you need.

Not being needed is blissful. It makes you want to feel needed. Does that even make any sense?

Also, thank you so much mum and dad, you have no idea how much you are loved by your grandies…. and me!

Have you ever been away from your children for 5 days/nights?

Do you have a very sensitive child, how do you cope?

Are you suffocating? If so, maybe you need a break?

Comments

  1. This is such a lovely post, Em. I think one of the reasons we get weighed so heavily down by parenting is the fact that the village has gone. Families live further apart, friends are all busy working or studying and it’s just us, ploughing along in isolation and doing the best we can. So glad to hear that you’ve had a much-earned rest and have come back raring to go. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder x

    • You’ve hit the nail on the head, Zilla! When I went to the Gidget Foundation, one of the psychologists spoke about exactly this, that it takes a village and most of us don’t have that village anymore, for all the reasons that you mention and more. It’s so important that we faux village and try and support each other, even it’s just the moral variety! And Em, I’m so pleased that you got some time to breathe, refocus and fill you cup. I hope it overflows (with bubbles, not troubles!)

    • Yes yes yes – this is exactly it – the village is all a bit too preoccupied with their phones! And maybe as strong and independent women we aren’t asking for help as much as we should be?? xx

  2. This is lovely Em, I am so glad you had the opportunity to have a break and reflect a little. Parenting is such a BIG job, one that is so reliant on Mum, we all need a little time out from that job to relax and unwind, it’s then that we remember how much we actually enjoy it, rather than being focused on the damn school lunches or the washing to be done. xxx

  3. Hooray for feeling light and grateful.
    Thrilled you got some time away with Mr HALOM. xx

  4. Really lovely Em. So glad you are feeling so refreshed and so much deserved. We had our week away with extended family in Brunswick Heads last week – although I don’t actually spend that much time with the kids as the cousins are all together and we hardly see them. But it is a tonic you need – especially at this time of the year.

  5. Yes I know exactly what you mean and I yes it all makes perfect sense to me! I’ve never been away 5 days but it sounds like bliss to me! The most I’ve ever managed is two nights and even that makes a big difference. Glad to hear you are feeling better for it X

  6. That’s lovely and how wonderful that you feel refreshed. Sometimes it doesn’t take much but it’s just about stepping outside of our ‘normal’ for a while. x

  7. I can feel the energy in your words! I love it. I can relate. I just had three nights aways from my kids a few weeks ago and my shoulders are no longer so heavy. In fact just today I am writing my own post about going on a “mama’s retreat” and putting myself in “rest, repair and reset” mode. i highly recommend it!! Mothering burnout is real and getting away for a few days can be the perfect tonic. Glad you enjoyed it so much xx

  8. glad that you had a good break em!
    you obviously needed it!
    nice to be refreshed! love m:)X

  9. Beautifully written! I’m glad you had a break and it helped refuel you. It’s hard trying to be everything to your kids and husband and job and friends all the time – and impossible! I know I have trouble saying no and asking for help, which leads to exhaustion (not to mention bitterness!). It’s so important to take care of yourself so you can be everything you need to be to everyone else in your life.

  10. I was actually worried about you until I saw a FB notification 🙂 Glad to hear you had a rest.

  11. Sounds like you’ve had an amazing re-charge Em xxx

  12. Oh Em, what a victory for all the tired mummies out there. How amazing! I’m so glad you got to do this. So pleased for you that you have reset and feel human again. I long for this break too but know i have a few years yet before I get mine. I hope you can keep that fresh feeling going xx

  13. I love this! And I loved all the pics on Instagram of your trip hun. Looked like you had such a fabulous time!
    I live for holidays, in particular with the kids. I need them otherwise i think i would go insane! We try ( grandparents permitting their offer of babysitting) to get away once a year for a minimum of one week. We go to Bali each time. It’s so lovely to reconnect with the man and only carry one bag.oxox

  14. I totally get this. I’ve never been away from the girls for so long, but they are still quite little. I am hoping to do exactly this in 2018 though, when Dave and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.

    I have found though that the best cure for that feeling that everything is just too much is to get away from life for a little bit. Even just one or two nights away from the kids and the house can make such a difference. Even just a day of being pampered by myself or with girlfriends can give me that much needed reprieve and chance to relax. I come back feeling so much better and I know I’m a better wife and mother for it.

  15. Ahhh Em! I am so glad you had the chance to take some all important time out for you and for you and your hubby. It sounds like it’s the best thing you could have done for yourself and the kids. I hope this feeling of lightness lasts as long as possible. So happy for you that you could get away and enjoy yourself xx

  16. This is why we need holidays

  17. We had a holiday recently (sans children too) and it was very refreshing.
    Love your post Em and pics.
    I’ve missed you – wishing you a Merry Christmas and I hope you are ok.
    Trish MLDB #WW

  18. I look forward to the day I can escape for a few days without my girls… because you’re right, we so need the break and it does us good when we do get away – if we can. I loved reading this post Em. I hope you can keep that floating feeling and that you won’t feel so burdened. Being life with kids, while it’s amazing, can also drain so much out of you. And I assume Bali was awesome? I’ve never had an inclination to go to Bali. I’d love to hear more. xx

    • I still have that feeling Bec because I am determined to reduce stress in my life and be a happier mummy! Bali was relaxing, it’s not for everyone and not really a place I’d bring kids if I had a choice… But never say never! xx

  19. Sounds amazing Em, so thrilled that you got such a well needed and deserved break. It’s so true about feeling suffocated and not even realising, I can totally relate to that some days. It the repetitive mundaneness of motherhood that can really get us if we’re not careful. Don’t leave it too long before the next break lovely xx

  20. How good to read this. A break can bring such clarity. get those grandparents booked in for 2016.

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