Unlike most people, having kids has actually made me sleep better.
Nothing puts an insomniac to sleep like crippling exhaustion, in fact it’s something I need to easily fall asleep most nights.
Most people who have sleeping problems can run on empty, in fact we’ve spent years learning how to function on hardly any kip. We also have a thing called resting bitch face.
An insomniac is a person who finds it hard to fall asleep, finds it hard to stay asleep and often wakes up and can’t get back to sleep, at least three nights a week every month.
Unfortunately this is me.
I can hand on heart tell you that I can not remember when I have ever slept for 8 hours in a row without waking up. Just look at my profile photo to the right, my eyes are hardly open!
Before falling pregnant I went through a horrific period where I’d be lucky to get four hours of continual sleep a night. It was tough and all the tricks in the world weren’t helping.
You kind of get used to it after a while and usually after two nights of barely sleeping you manage to get six hours in a row on the third night and that gets you through another couple of nights.
Rinse and repeat.
Right now my stupid bacterial sickness has returned due to a lowered immune system caused by a lack of sleep, too much work and stress. End of financial year will do that to a small business.
And what’s up with always getting sick once you’ve got through all the work? It’s like the body says “okay I let you get through that and now I’m going to shut down for awhile, so you can’t even enjoy not being so stressed because you’re now sick, suck on that.”
Over the years I’ve heard it all; advice, astonishment and judgement, but these days I take it with a grain of salt and just smile warily with my lazy eye and nod.
Here’s a few things insomniacs hate hearing.
- Gosh I don’t know how you do it, I get eight hours a night and don’t even wake up once and I’m still tired. (I want to punch this person).
- Have you tried warm milk, yoga, meditation, writing things down, specialist help? (yes I have, most insomniacs have tried all sorts of weird shenans).
- Really? Not even if you try going to bed earlier? Surely that would help? (I want to kick this person).
- Yes I know how you feel, I had a shocking sleep last night. (I’ll see your one night and raise you 20+ years).
- Gosh do you look tired. (No shit Sherlock, now bugger off).
- It’s probably because you sleep with your smartphone beside your bed. (I had this problem before mobile phones were smart).
Those in camp insomnia know what I’m talking about. For those who have no idea then I am extremely pleased for you. It’s not something I’d wish upon anyone.
It’s not all bad though, some nights I succeed in completely emptying my brain so it’s void of all thoughts, but it’s not an easy task.
And then there are days when I’ll sleep soundly; this is when shit gets done!