THE LATEST

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Why I’d ignore you if we crossed paths! 

If you walked past me in the street it's likely that I would ignore you. In fact if Hugh Jackman in all his sexy glory strode past me the chances are I'd miss drooling over him too! Why? Because my mind is too preoccupied with what I have to do … [Read More...]

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Acting like a pork chop!

Geez mum is in quite the strop today. She's on her second cup of coffee and it's only just seven o'clock. I bet she'll be even more cranky when … [Read More...]

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Operation Put Down Your Phone!

I don't want my kids to remember me as someone who was always looking at her phone. I want my kids to remember me as a fun and sometimes cranky mum … [Read More...]

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Avoid these people to save your sanity!

If there's one thing I can't stand it is pencil-thin women at a buffet. Most aren't even prepared for their epic feast and are usually wearing skin-tight clothes without an elastic waistband. They also take WAY too long to select which type of … [Read More...]

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I hate homework WAY more than my kids do!

I don't know what my kids are moaning about, I hate homework more than they do! The amount of patience I have to muster up in order to stop myself from spontaneously combusting when my 5yo can't recognise the sight word 'said' after 273 times is … [Read More...]

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On being the epitome of gluttony.

Mr Wonky Willy was on to something with his three-course-dinner chewing gum invention. If I had my way I'd eat ALL the food because I love tickling my taste buds with a variety of flavours. The only problem is, attached to every delicious flavour … [Read More...]

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In your car at school pick up

Are you, like me, sitting in your car waiting to pick up your offspring from school? I bet you aren't leisurely reading a book. If you're not scouring social media on your phone I guarantee in your mind you are calculating the time you have … [Read More...]

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Fugly tears.

Sometimes in order to cope with sad stuff you have to compartmentalise. This is what I'm doing right now. Taking Benji cat back to the RSPCA yesterday was one of the saddest things I've ever done. Listening to him meow in a cage beside me on … [Read More...]

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A very sad day.

Today is going to be a sad day. One of the cats we rehomed from the RSPCA has to leave our house. The decision was made with a heavy heart. We were told that Benji had never been shown love, he grew up in a household where violence was the … [Read More...]

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Don’t punish The McGrath Foundation to spite Glenn.

I'm jumping on the Glenn McGrath shooting bandwagon because I'm appalled at the way some people have reacted. I completely condemn safari shooting but for people to say they are going to stop supporting the McGrath Foundation because of his … [Read More...]

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Would you cope without your mum?

My mum and I spoke three times yesterday. She often rings when it's feeding time at the zoo or just as the shit is about to hit the fan, but that's okay. I used to get cranky when she called at 'witching hour' because I thought she should know … [Read More...]

carolbeer

Don’t piss off the receptionist!

Yesterday I had to take my daughter to an eye guru to check out something fishy I had noticed. I had one of my boys in tow because his toe is infected and can't wear school shoes, doctor's orders. It was raining and I was hungry because I'm trying … [Read More...]

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I married a boy named Sue!

Being married to someone who has a 'girl's name' definitely makes life interesting. Not only are we frequently mistaken for a gay couple; 99 per cent of people think my hubby is female. He's pretty much a boy named Sue*. Before anyone gets … [Read More...]