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7 ways to self-diagnose ‘boring old fart’ syndrome.

At my biannual dentist visit today it dawned on me that I might actually be morphing into an old fart before my time. Sure my age belies this status, I'm still a few years shy of 40, but it's more how I act that makes me wonder if I'm spiraling … [Read More...]

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I love long skinny stick-like ones.

Yesterday I vacuumed 315 pieces of pastry, 25 bits of scungy food and a plastic clam-shell amount of sand from Freddy Kluger. I nearly had a … [Read More...]

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Watch out it’s a soppy one!

Despite the 3.30am wake-up I'm in such a fantastic mood. I haven't raised my voice once, the word 'no' has not escaped my lips and everyone is … [Read More...]

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I was sued for $2 million dollars.

This post is brought to you by Firths the Compensation lawyers. Being sued for $2 million dollars isn't exactly something I'm proud of, but it sure makes for an interesting blog post. In March 2001 when I was a nanny in New York I was involved in … [Read More...]

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Muuummmmmm!

Sneaking quietly into the bathroom I naively think I have five minutes to have a shower before school drop-off. A mere 35 seconds later my 3.5 yo rocks up pushing his garbage bin full of dress ups and begins to unload the contents on the … [Read More...]

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Warning: this post is about…

Warning: this post is about hurling. Having a baby/toddler with chronic reflex pretty much makes you immune to vomit. There are a few exceptions to this, such as when you have morning sickness, are hungover or it's in your own hair and you … [Read More...]

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Do you think I’m wasting my breath?

I am apparently wasting my breath by telling my kids to pick up their pj's/clothes off the floor. I presume it's the same for their towels? To say I'm crestfallen is an understatement. I estimate over the past seven years I have wasted more … [Read More...]

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Are you an ogre mumma?

My son accidentally knocked over his bowl of cereal and quickly said 'sorry mum'. My daughter absentmindedly spilled a container of straws all over the floor than profusely apologised. They say it so often I'm starting to feel like the bloody … [Read More...]

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Norks and muffs.

For years they've resided quietly in my nose minding their own business, until today that was. Yes 30 minutes into my relaxing facial shit got real and black heads were pried from their beloved home. I didn't know it was a thing until Mrs Woog … [Read More...]

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On being unco, clumsy and top heavy!

Did you know I was actually meant to be a professional modern dancer? I took dancing for six years, passed all my examinations, performed in countless end of year productions and was stabbed by pins when my Lycra costume was being made. So why … [Read More...]

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My kids think I’m stupid.

According to recent survey 9 out of 10 parents are surrounded by a bunch of know-it-all smart-arse kids. I am one of them. I just told my five-year-old to put his socks in the wash and he couldn't help but speak back to me. "I already know … [Read More...]

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Top 5 writer hacks.

When I'm not spilling my guts on the blog I make a decent wage writing. I chose to leave the newsroom when I had kids and while I still write for a few newspapers I'm not in breaking news anymore. Sadly this means there's no chance of me … [Read More...]

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On the verge of tears + Giveaway!

I was on the verge of tears at the shops when a woman with a kind voice asked if my name was Emily. Not recognising her face, I sheepishly replied yes I was and she gave me a huge smile and said: "I thought it was you, I follow your blog, … [Read More...]